I always say I’m a shy person. I have no clue why people don’t believe a word of it. They can’t see the efforts I put to engage in conversations, how much I have to cheer myself before talking to people, or even how I must control my peristaltic movements before being «social». The only thing they see is a middle-aged woman (did I say «middle-age»?? Well, I am certainly not a teenager) who smiles, sometimes with a drink in her hand, asking questions about something that nobody may care about. That is because I’m a professional curious, as I state in my professional profiles.
As a journalist (and I always will be one) I’m curious by default. I am someone who always wants to know more; not for gossip purposes, but just because I want to discover the other. Because when someone tells me «Oh well, I have no idea why I have just told you that», I know I’ve achieved my objective. It may seem philanthropic (setting them free of a -sometimes painful- memory)… as these stories stay in my head and sometimes, also in my heart.
Anyway, I still have the problem of being misunderstood here. I if I appear too friendly, people may think I want to flirt. I am just longing for a smart conversation, something cruelly missed nowadays because to the techno wave! This talk could be in any of the languages I am capable of speaking. It is disappointing (and sometimes scary) having to stop the conversation because you need to get rid of someone. Oddly enough, I had never imagined something like that could happen to me here.
Fine, it’s not that I have ” waiting for love” written in my forehead but, wow, the lack of surprise is really disappointing. I absolutely get where the conversation is going to and I don’t feel like continuing. Capici?
It may be due to my age, which makes me intolerant to nonsense. Maybe it is just that I know what I want for this little heart of mine. Maybe I wish to be dazzled by someone who takes me out of the routine. Meanwhile, I am left with the pain of networking, searching for job opportunities, cold sweating while I introduce myself anywhere and -of course- sidestepping lost Romeos.